Backseat Blonde - ‘Year of the Rookie’ Fails to Pay Dividends

November 1, 2004

NASCAR Needs its Villains
By Allison Wagda

Men who wrestle machines of steel in circles at speeds
often exceeding 190 mph aren’t like you and me.

Something in their genetic make-up attracts them to
extreme danger. It wakes them up every Sunday and
drags them into a maelstrom of 42 other men –
suffering from the same malady - to shake, rattle and
ram their way toward a little checkered piece of cloth. Something as insignificant as
the flu, broken bones or even burns doesn't hold them back.

Racers are tough, gritty, and resilient competitors driven to live life on the edge.

Then, the TV cameras arrive.

In this era of slick, polished “family-friendly” entertainment, teams spit-shine these
rough and ready adrenaline junkies into presentable, likeable and, most importantly,
marketable celebrities.

Yet these stars don’t rise to the top by being the proverbial boy next door. Even a guy
like Matt Kenseth, a man so squeaky clean his feet don’t stink (or so rumor has it),
had to fight aggressively to make it to Cup racing.

So what happens when a highly talented driver isn’t so easy to potty (mouth) train?

You end up with a Stewart. Spencer. Gordon (with an “R”). Harvick (whose feet we all
now know do stink). Or even a Busch.

Call them bad boys, call them villains…heck, you have probably called them a-holes
at least once or twice. Whatever moniker you choose, they could become a thing of
the past as a triumvirate of forces merges to threaten their existence.

Teams don’t want the potential legal or financial liabilities of a bad boy. Sponsors
don’t want to risk guilt by association. And NASCAR continues to show it’s
willingness to sanitize all emotion in order to ensure its broadcasts are suitable for
ages 3 and up…

…As evidenced by another asinine fine announced just yesterday against Rusty
Wallace. Following the Martinsville race, a race always wrought with emotion and
turmoil due to its likeness to bumper cars, Wallace expressed his displeasure with
teammate Ryan Newman over a perceived slight with a little unnecessary but not
outrageous contact, car-to-car.

Yeah, it was not well done of Rusty. But it was hardly noteworthy given some of the
brawls we’ve had in the past. It was more of a love tap. And considering Wallace
owns a part of Newman’s car, you could even say it was his to dent.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s fine for using the evil “S” word was similarly ridiculous.

But I digress. I’m not condoning extracurricular displays using either cars or fists or
naughty words, but we’re watching racing folks. As in, men battling it out risking life
and limb for our entertainment. Emotions are bound to cause a momentary loss of
judgment when you’ve been sent spinning along the backstretch, causing you not
only a lot of soreness Monday morning but a great deal of money as well. The spin
alone might render a driver temporarily absent of forethought. (There’s a freebie
excuse, Robby).

Speaking of Robby…

Many fans are probably thrilled Childress gave Robby Gordon the ol’ heave ho from
the #31 Cingular Chevy, but the move sets a dangerous precedent. It would have
been one thing if RCR had a driver with exceptional potential on ice, but the
replacement is rumored to be Dave Blaney. Nothing personal against Blaney, but
could RCR have picked anyone less likely to make a splash? Has Blaney ever won?
I don’t even care enough to look it up. He seems nice enough, but what is there to
root for?

Robby Gordon might be a loose cannon. He’s certainly aggressive on the track. But
he’s a heckuva racer and one of the friendliest racers in the garage when it comes to
hanging with the fans. I’m only glad he’ll have the resources to run on his own next
year.

Jimmy Spencer is another can of worms, but did he deserve to lose his ride last
week over a minor arrest? Keep in mind sweet little Scott Wimmer (a young gun
type…NASCAR’s favorite) was busted hiding from the cops and charged with a DUI
earlier this year. Swept under the rug that one was. Seems to me a DUI would have a
more significant affect on a NASCAR career than a reportedly minor confrontation in
a man’s own home. But I don’t claim to know all the details, except Spencer doesn’t
fit the new NASCAR demographic, and is therefore expendable.

NASCAR’s bad boys have always played a significant role in the drama that unfolds
weekly at the track. Someone has to be the villain. Not every driver can be Awesome
Bill from Dawsonville.

If they were, races would evolve into polite parades. Fans in the stands would be
reduced to, “why yes, Jimmie Johnson certainly is running well this week…isn’t it
nice my boy Kasey Kahne is running right behind him?”

Or as Wallace said in an interview with the Associated Press in 2003 after the
infamous Spenser/Busch altercation, "Everybody's got their face punched in
occasionally. But nowadays there's no tolerance for it. The guys from NASCAR get all
sideways about it. They've got the cops involved and they've got fines, and my God,
it's crazy.

"We've got a real cleaned-up, sterile sport right now. Do I like it? Hell no."

We need drivers nicknamed “The Intimidator” or “Smoke.” We need guys who will
speak their mind without fear of reprisal from sponsors or NASCAR. We want men
who, despite the best efforts of scores of PR professionals, still make fun of the yap
yap mouth of another driver, or rant about a “bug-eyed dummy,” or glare, stomp and
gesture at Bristol. And we certainly need someone to blame when our favorite driver
gets taken out (it ain’t likely to be Carl Edwards either).

Without the villains, all we’ll ever see is fake kindness and shallow platitudes.
Contrived rivalries and staged battles. That might be fine and good back in Stepford,
but in Race City, wherever that may be any given weekend, it just won’t suffice.

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